see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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