Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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