Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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