i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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