I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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