I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
