my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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