i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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