best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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