Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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