FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
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Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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