dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
