We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Even my vagina gasped.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize