how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
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You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
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It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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