Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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