you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
