Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
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We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
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I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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