All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
pray to the hookup gods
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
