"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
