dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
