i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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