good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
