we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
