we're making bets on your personal life
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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