a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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