the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
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I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
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I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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