i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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