And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
