so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
it's like heaven, but drunker
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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