I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
