im about as happy as oj after his trial
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize