Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
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Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
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I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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