his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
how drunk are you?
Several
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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