you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
