I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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