Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
