I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
