well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
