WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
