Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
