yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We are two peas in an std pod
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm bleeding and have questions
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
