Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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