oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
