Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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