real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
