I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
