when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
