It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
