Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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