Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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