I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We are two peas in an std pod
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
