my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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