Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
