people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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