i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
i out mim tonsoeep
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