508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
A bitchslap is in order.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
