i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
