oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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