just come out here and I will go home with you...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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