you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize