adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
