i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
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I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
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I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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