im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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