Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize